Submitted by: Anonymous, 24.
People may wonder why I am so reserved or think I am rude because I am quiet when I first meet anyone new. I am shy and keep to myself because of what happened in middle school. My formative years that turned me into a self-conscious and self-loathing person. I will start at the beginning…
My sisters were cheerleaders, so, naturally I wanted to be one too. I thought my sisters were the most beautiful, coolest teenagers ever. And I wanted to be just like them. We were always raised to be nice to everyone, no matter what, unless they gave you a reason to be mean- then stick up for yourself, your family, and your friends. It’s a lot easier said than done, especially when you cannot pick up on social cues very well even if it’s obvious.
All I wanted was to make a lot friends, be a cheerleader, and pass 6th grade. I was naïve, oblivious, and taken advantage of by a large group of mean people who basically ruled the school. They saw my desperation to make friends and swooped in- an easy target. I thought how cool it was that this huge group of people wanted to be my friends, they had me eat lunch with them a few times and we would IM and chat on the phone almost every night. We never hung out in person, and come to find out it was because I was the laughing stock of the school.
Fast forward a few months to the summer before 7th grade: I am a cheerleader quickly becoming the shortest person on the squad and being laughed at for it. I never knew, though. It was all behind my back. Even the people I thought were my real friends were making fun of me for being short. I had been going to lots of different doctors and specialists to find out why I wasn’t growing at a normal rate. That summer, we found out. I didn’t tell anyone because it would make the already bad social situation even worse. I thought there was something wrong with me and that I should be ashamed of who I am. This was the beginning of me crawling into my shell and never anting to come out.
The people I so desperately wanted to be friends with played games with me that whole summer and into the school year, boys pretended to want to date me, the girls pretended like they’d come over to hang and never show up. They had me change my AIM name a million times to different things just to see how far I’d go. I was too dumb to see what was going on until I got an AIM message from one of the girls I thought actually liked me. She said, “guess what!” I responded, “what!” She responded with, “you should grow a few inches oh wait I mean a few feet.” What she didn’t know is that I have a real medical reason for being short, I had just started growth hormone to grow, it was a sensitive topic that I was already so ashamed of. The worse part wasn’t what she said, it was that my mom saw it. I was so embarrassed. I completely shut down and quit talking to people in school at all. Only the small group of real friends I had. I also got a HUGE amount of social anxiety that I still struggle with.
I hated myself. I thought I was worthless. I thought God played a really funny joke when He created me. After all, everyone needs something to laugh at, right? I was embarrassed and ashamed of who I was at my core. I just wanted to be to be accepted like all the “popular” people
I stayed shut down until I accepted that I am who I am and that I have Turner Syndrome and that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It took me a long time to even feel slightly okay with it. I was a senior in college when I finally said enough is enough. I am being more open and posted a Facebook selfie with a caption about how I had TS. I started to become proud of how much I have overcome. Only 1 IN 2,000 women survive with TS and I did. I am a literal miracle. I became more open to talking about with anyone when it came up. I met other women with it and related more than I ever experienced. I did not feel so alone anymore. By accepting myself and being more open about who I am, I began to heal and gradually come out of my shell. I realized people actually liked me for me and that the people in middle school were just mean. Now, I still get slightly panicky when meeting new people and I will always be a little awkward, but I am no longer scared of starting the conversation with someone I have never met or join into a big group conversation. I am no longer self-conscious or self-loathing. I have my bad days, everyone does, but I would say overall, I am not who I was even 2 or 3 years ago.
I never believed them when people would say “it gets better”, but now I am here saying it does get better. The things that were the end of the world for 13-year-old you will not really matter that much to 24-year-old you… just like my parents always said.
A word from A Genuine Destiny,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like to have to hold that in for quite some time. During those times of change and growth- something of that stature surely created much pain that would have taken years to work through and process, maybe even a lifetime.
I’m thankful you have found the ability to express these experiences. I hope that you have been able to make peace with this. I believe that there will be many opportunities in your future for you to be able to use these experiences to be an encouragement to adolescents who may be experiencing similar struggles, or on the other hand, maybe you can discourage kids to harass people for reasons they do not understand.
Whatever may come your way, I hope that you can find the courage to share for not only your self development but the well being of those involved too. Where our biggest pain lies, so does our biggest strength which I believe gives us our purpose in life.
Journey to a Genuine Destiny 
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